Last Friday night I decided to join a girlfriend of mine for a drink at the local pub. It was awesome outside- the breezy warm air was comfortable and refreshing. We sat outside on the porch at a round, lacquered picnic table, sandwiched between two other picnic tables, with a group of middle-aged house wives on one side and a half of a dozen UPS Execs on the other.
Over the next hour my friend and I enjoyed each other's company a few cold beers. Apparently the guys at the table next to us were enjoying themselves as well because their rowdiness increased - they started out quiet enough, keeping their conversations contained within the space surrounding the elongated picnic table, with a few "SHOTS, We need SHOTS..." thrown in the mix. Not much time passed before the shouting grew louder and the shots started coming more frequently. At one point I could see one of the gentleman, wearing a bright yellow shirt, starring at me through my peripheral vision. I tried to ignore him but I couldn't concentrate on what my friend was telling me. The gentleman was speaking fluent gibberish and staring at me as if his native tongue was Pig Latin instead of English. I continued to ignore him until he was right on top of us shouting, "hey, hey..." I looked up at him taking in his sloppy demeanor. I smiled politely and waited for him to finish his statement- that was obviously directed at me. "Hey, can I talk to you?", he managed to slur. I smiled again and apologetically replied, "I am married and I don't think my husband would like that; I'm sorry." He looked at me bewildered and then turned his head to stare at my friend. My cute, blond girlfriend, replied quickly, "I am dating." His mouth fell open and he staggered backward into the arms of his nearby friend. "Come on "Jimbo", lets go. Leave these nice young ladies alone." His friend coaxed. Jimbo didn't put up much of a fight - he couldn't, the drink had incapacitated his coordination.About 15 minutes later, and after the UPS men had been cut off, it was time for Jimbo to go. He latched on to one of his co-workers like a drunken sorority girl and was escorted to the car.
I was relieved that we could get back to the girl's night out. We had plenty of time left to catch up because by my watch it was only 7:30pm. We ordered one last round of Coors Light bottleneck beers and started to chit chat again when another UPS guy comes up to apologize for his friend's behavior. We politely dismissed his friend's behavior and tried to get back to our conversation. The "friend" was not taking the hint. Being the cordial girls that we are we obliged him and made friendly conversation... maybe too friendly because before we knew it the guy had sat him self down in between the two of us and continued to rattle on about everything from the kind of day he had to his favorite music. The gentleman seemed to mean no harm- genuinely friendly. He introduced himself as "Bobby". I would guess him to be in his mid to late twenties. He was medium height, medium build with dark hair and dark brown eyes and spoke with a slow southern accent.
Bobby's questions, in the beginning, were directed towards both of us and revolved around his drunk friend but as the minutes passed the conversation began to turn into another direction. The next series of questions started out about my friend's favorite music, what kind of bands she'd seen then progressed to "do you have a boyfriend?", "are you two serious?", "why isn't he here tonight" and, being the good friend that she is, she always included me in the conversation by answering the question with the beginning starting with something like, "Jill and I..." - for example, "Jill is married and I am dating someone" or "Like Jill I am married as well, but going through a divorce" and "the reason he is not here is because Jill and I are having a girls night." It got old very quickly and "Jimbo's friend" began to turn ever so slightly toward my friend only to mumble "um hmmm" or "yeah, yeah" when she would mention my name. I don't think he was trying to be rude directly but he acted as if I was standing in the way to victory - a "cock-blocker" for lack of a better phrase or at the very least, chopped liver.
It was funny, at first, that this jerk was so dedicated to his goal but after about 20 minutes of the silent treatment I had had enough. From then on I said everything I could to thwart his efforts. He began telling me "how much he dug my friend" and that she "had the most beautiful smile"... as if I gave a shit what he thought. I am married but the fact that I was there , dressed up with my friend spending a girl's night alone and this jerk-off was interrupting my good time sent me beyond irritated. I was done. He was talking but I cut him short, told my friend that it was getting late and that I should really get the check. I knew she could tell what I was doing- hoping to shake this guy loose but at the very worse call it a night. She agreed with me and we called for the check. The guy was like a parasite until the end- even offering to walk us... I mean HER out to the car. That was it! I got up and said goodbye to complimentary Bobby. She followed. Bobby went in for the last attempt, I interrupted stating that we had to go but would probably see him around. He got the hint this time, said goodbye and walked the other way.
After he was around the corner and out of earshot we laughed about the night's events. I was still steaming though. My friend read my face and said, "That was torture, huh?" with a smile. Yeah, must've been hell for you, I thought to myself. "You know, treating me like chopped liver is the not the best way to get a date with my friend. You know what I mean?" I replied. with a half ass chuckle. She smiled, "sympathizing" with me and said, "Honestly, that was ridiculous." She hugged me goodbye and I got into my car.
You know, when I was young I had a pretty good rapport with men. Even if I wasn't their type they usually found me to be the "cute one" and would flirt with me while offering to buy me at least one drink. Now, they treat me like a plague or the "fat" friend - even though I am neither. I don't know how this has happened. It is depressing. Not only do I have to deal with the feelings of insecurity, as well as, the stress of growing older and rounder but now I have to deal with some drunken slob and his inconsiderate friend treating me like the invisible woman? And I thought your teenage years were supposed to be the awkward times... ahhh, life - great!
Over the next hour my friend and I enjoyed each other's company a few cold beers. Apparently the guys at the table next to us were enjoying themselves as well because their rowdiness increased - they started out quiet enough, keeping their conversations contained within the space surrounding the elongated picnic table, with a few "SHOTS, We need SHOTS..." thrown in the mix. Not much time passed before the shouting grew louder and the shots started coming more frequently. At one point I could see one of the gentleman, wearing a bright yellow shirt, starring at me through my peripheral vision. I tried to ignore him but I couldn't concentrate on what my friend was telling me. The gentleman was speaking fluent gibberish and staring at me as if his native tongue was Pig Latin instead of English. I continued to ignore him until he was right on top of us shouting, "hey, hey..." I looked up at him taking in his sloppy demeanor. I smiled politely and waited for him to finish his statement- that was obviously directed at me. "Hey, can I talk to you?", he managed to slur. I smiled again and apologetically replied, "I am married and I don't think my husband would like that; I'm sorry." He looked at me bewildered and then turned his head to stare at my friend. My cute, blond girlfriend, replied quickly, "I am dating." His mouth fell open and he staggered backward into the arms of his nearby friend. "Come on "Jimbo", lets go. Leave these nice young ladies alone." His friend coaxed. Jimbo didn't put up much of a fight - he couldn't, the drink had incapacitated his coordination.About 15 minutes later, and after the UPS men had been cut off, it was time for Jimbo to go. He latched on to one of his co-workers like a drunken sorority girl and was escorted to the car.
I was relieved that we could get back to the girl's night out. We had plenty of time left to catch up because by my watch it was only 7:30pm. We ordered one last round of Coors Light bottleneck beers and started to chit chat again when another UPS guy comes up to apologize for his friend's behavior. We politely dismissed his friend's behavior and tried to get back to our conversation. The "friend" was not taking the hint. Being the cordial girls that we are we obliged him and made friendly conversation... maybe too friendly because before we knew it the guy had sat him self down in between the two of us and continued to rattle on about everything from the kind of day he had to his favorite music. The gentleman seemed to mean no harm- genuinely friendly. He introduced himself as "Bobby". I would guess him to be in his mid to late twenties. He was medium height, medium build with dark hair and dark brown eyes and spoke with a slow southern accent.
Bobby's questions, in the beginning, were directed towards both of us and revolved around his drunk friend but as the minutes passed the conversation began to turn into another direction. The next series of questions started out about my friend's favorite music, what kind of bands she'd seen then progressed to "do you have a boyfriend?", "are you two serious?", "why isn't he here tonight" and, being the good friend that she is, she always included me in the conversation by answering the question with the beginning starting with something like, "Jill and I..." - for example, "Jill is married and I am dating someone" or "Like Jill I am married as well, but going through a divorce" and "the reason he is not here is because Jill and I are having a girls night." It got old very quickly and "Jimbo's friend" began to turn ever so slightly toward my friend only to mumble "um hmmm" or "yeah, yeah" when she would mention my name. I don't think he was trying to be rude directly but he acted as if I was standing in the way to victory - a "cock-blocker" for lack of a better phrase or at the very least, chopped liver.
It was funny, at first, that this jerk was so dedicated to his goal but after about 20 minutes of the silent treatment I had had enough. From then on I said everything I could to thwart his efforts. He began telling me "how much he dug my friend" and that she "had the most beautiful smile"... as if I gave a shit what he thought. I am married but the fact that I was there , dressed up with my friend spending a girl's night alone and this jerk-off was interrupting my good time sent me beyond irritated. I was done. He was talking but I cut him short, told my friend that it was getting late and that I should really get the check. I knew she could tell what I was doing- hoping to shake this guy loose but at the very worse call it a night. She agreed with me and we called for the check. The guy was like a parasite until the end- even offering to walk us... I mean HER out to the car. That was it! I got up and said goodbye to complimentary Bobby. She followed. Bobby went in for the last attempt, I interrupted stating that we had to go but would probably see him around. He got the hint this time, said goodbye and walked the other way.
After he was around the corner and out of earshot we laughed about the night's events. I was still steaming though. My friend read my face and said, "That was torture, huh?" with a smile. Yeah, must've been hell for you, I thought to myself. "You know, treating me like chopped liver is the not the best way to get a date with my friend. You know what I mean?" I replied. with a half ass chuckle. She smiled, "sympathizing" with me and said, "Honestly, that was ridiculous." She hugged me goodbye and I got into my car.
You know, when I was young I had a pretty good rapport with men. Even if I wasn't their type they usually found me to be the "cute one" and would flirt with me while offering to buy me at least one drink. Now, they treat me like a plague or the "fat" friend - even though I am neither. I don't know how this has happened. It is depressing. Not only do I have to deal with the feelings of insecurity, as well as, the stress of growing older and rounder but now I have to deal with some drunken slob and his inconsiderate friend treating me like the invisible woman? And I thought your teenage years were supposed to be the awkward times... ahhh, life - great!
