Working it out and making a plan

Now that the wedding and reception is over I am going to work on 3 things...
Saving money (for bills and babies!), develop my strengths and presence at my new job and lastly, start writing again.
I am working with a new exercise from the book I am reading: Techniques for Plot and Structure, to get the creative juices flowing. For anyone else who might be interested in developing some ideas here is the exercise.

Exercise:
Part I- Choose two ways to get ideas/brainstorm (i.e. write an opening line, write a prologue, create a mind map - use a concept or word and start mapping out every idea that is associated) and set aside 1 hour of writing time for each.
Part II- Pick the idea you like the best and give the idea a hook, line and sinker.
Part III- Apply Bell's pyramid: is there enough passion, potential and precision to make you want to continue?

Another Oldie

Callow

Push-pull, angry
plainly
Rip, torn, scorn
Bitter "Y"
Sleepy eye
Let it go...
Can you?

~J, 2003

Jill Journal

Is it weird that I like to go back and read what I wrote? ...almost as if I didn't write it at all.
I found an old Jill Journal, circa 2002 and truth be told there is some REALLY interesting stuff inside, enough to write a book, perhaps. But whatever...
What was also pretty neat is that I found some "poetry" -if you can really call it that- but you know what, I'll let you be the judge for once. It will give myself a break from my own critical review.

"Sugar Plums"
03.30.03

I dare to dream that they surround us,
knowing in my heart, they are untouchable

Whispering and fantasizing
thoughts of their face, laugh and mood

Sometimes I swear they can hear me
yet other times I feel they have turned a deaf ear

They are here and there
scattered like fallen leaves in my mind

Visions... dancing through my head
and memories I shall always remember

~Elle

Hey world... can I have a few minutes?

I have a lot on my mind. I don't want to use this platform as a vehicle for complaint so I will try to stay positive. I would like to just ramble for a moment however...
I love to write and read and explore but it seems that when I get back to work I have a hard time doing all of it at the same time yet I cannot stand idle. I frequently... or repeatedly (might be a better word) take a larger portion for my plate and often don't get to eat it all... but I cannot stop.
I started a new job. I like it okay, I say "okay" because I never LOVE my job... it is a means for living - working to live versus living to work. However, after saying that I am so involved in work, marriage and paying off bills/debt that I don't get to live. I started writing religiously for a few weeks and it felt great! Now I haven't been writing very often because I have been thinking about work (which makes me tired). -- I don't know where I was going with all this but I guess more than anything I just wanted to get it off my chest. I know that the possibility of life slowing down, so that I can do all that I dream about, is silly to believe in - especially with kids and completing my masters on the horizon but I would like to try to become more flexible and accommodating of my goals/dreams.
I read about how published writers would write anytime they could: on their lunch hour, late at night after work, with a kid on their lap, etc. I know that kind of discipline would be SO beneficial but I haven't been doing it. Maybe I am just scared... scared that I will invest the time and energy and in the end -- I will suck.
Well I guess that is all I have to say.
Thanks for listening world....................................................................

Treating me like chopped liver won't get you in my pal's pants

Last Friday night I decided to join a girlfriend of mine for a drink at the local pub. It was awesome outside- the breezy warm air was comfortable and refreshing. We sat outside on the porch at a round, lacquered picnic table, sandwiched between two other picnic tables, with a group of middle-aged house wives on one side and a half of a dozen UPS Execs on the other.

Over the next hour my friend and I enjoyed each other's company a few cold beers. Apparently the guys at the table next to us were enjoying themselves as well because their rowdiness increased - they started out quiet enough, keeping their conversations contained within the space surrounding the elongated picnic table, with a few "SHOTS, We need SHOTS..." thrown in the mix. Not much time passed before the shouting grew louder and the shots started coming more frequently. At one point I could see one of the gentleman, wearing a bright yellow shirt, starring at me through my peripheral vision. I tried to ignore him but I couldn't concentrate on what my friend was telling me. The gentleman was speaking fluent gibberish and staring at me as if his native tongue was Pig Latin instead of English. I continued to ignore him until he was right on top of us shouting, "hey, hey..." I looked up at him taking in his sloppy demeanor. I smiled politely and waited for him to finish his statement- that was obviously directed at me. "Hey, can I talk to you?", he managed to slur. I smiled again and apologetically replied, "I am married and I don't think my husband would like that; I'm sorry." He looked at me bewildered and then turned his head to stare at my friend. My cute, blond girlfriend, replied quickly, "I am dating." His mouth fell open and he staggered backward into the arms of his nearby friend. "Come on "Jimbo", lets go. Leave these nice young ladies alone." His friend coaxed. Jimbo didn't put up much of a fight - he couldn't, the drink had incapacitated his coordination.About 15 minutes later, and after the UPS men had been cut off, it was time for Jimbo to go. He latched on to one of his co-workers like a drunken sorority girl and was escorted to the car.

I was relieved that we could get back to the girl's night out. We had plenty of time left to catch up because by my watch it was only 7:30pm. We ordered one last round of Coors Light bottleneck beers and started to chit chat again when another UPS guy comes up to apologize for his friend's behavior. We politely dismissed his friend's behavior and tried to get back to our conversation. The "friend" was not taking the hint. Being the cordial girls that we are we obliged him and made friendly conversation... maybe too friendly because before we knew it the guy had sat him self down in between the two of us and continued to rattle on about everything from the kind of day he had to his favorite music. The gentleman seemed to mean no harm- genuinely friendly. He introduced himself as "Bobby". I would guess him to be in his mid to late twenties. He was medium height, medium build with dark hair and dark brown eyes and spoke with a slow southern accent.

Bobby's questions, in the beginning, were directed towards both of us and revolved around his drunk friend but as the minutes passed the conversation began to turn into another direction. The next series of questions started out about my friend's favorite music, what kind of bands she'd seen then progressed to "do you have a boyfriend?", "are you two serious?", "why isn't he here tonight" and, being the good friend that she is, she always included me in the conversation by answering the question with the beginning starting with something like, "Jill and I..." - for example, "Jill is married and I am dating someone" or "Like Jill I am married as well, but going through a divorce" and "the reason he is not here is because Jill and I are having a girls night." It got old very quickly and "Jimbo's friend" began to turn ever so slightly toward my friend only to mumble "um hmmm" or "yeah, yeah" when she would mention my name. I don't think he was trying to be rude directly but he acted as if I was standing in the way to victory - a "cock-blocker" for lack of a better phrase or at the very least, chopped liver.

It was funny, at first, that this jerk was so dedicated to his goal but after about 20 minutes of the silent treatment I had had enough. From then on I said everything I could to thwart his efforts. He began telling me "how much he dug my friend" and that she "had the most beautiful smile"... as if I gave a shit what he thought. I am married but the fact that I was there , dressed up with my friend spending a girl's night alone and this jerk-off was interrupting my good time sent me beyond irritated. I was done. He was talking but I cut him short, told my friend that it was getting late and that I should really get the check. I knew she could tell what I was doing- hoping to shake this guy loose but at the very worse call it a night. She agreed with me and we called for the check. The guy was like a parasite until the end- even offering to walk us... I mean HER out to the car. That was it! I got up and said goodbye to complimentary Bobby. She followed. Bobby went in for the last attempt, I interrupted stating that we had to go but would probably see him around. He got the hint this time, said goodbye and walked the other way.

After he was around the corner and out of earshot we laughed about the night's events. I was still steaming though. My friend read my face and said, "That was torture, huh?" with a smile. Yeah, must've been hell for you, I thought to myself. "You know, treating me like chopped liver is the not the best way to get a date with my friend. You know what I mean?" I replied. with a half ass chuckle. She smiled, "sympathizing" with me and said, "Honestly, that was ridiculous." She hugged me goodbye and I got into my car.

You know, when I was young I had a pretty good rapport with men. Even if I wasn't their type they usually found me to be the "cute one" and would flirt with me while offering to buy me at least one drink. Now, they treat me like a plague or the "fat" friend - even though I am neither. I don't know how this has happened. It is depressing. Not only do I have to deal with the feelings of insecurity, as well as, the stress of growing older and rounder but now I have to deal with some drunken slob and his inconsiderate friend treating me like the invisible woman? And I thought your teenage years were supposed to be the awkward times... ahhh, life - great!

Delve into your own psyche.

There are a lot of ways to get your creative juices flowing - one way in particular that writers forget is- Take a look inside! Yes, inside of you. Below are some questions to induce thought and honesty... and maybe some really interesting writing.
In no particular order:

• What is the thing you value most in this world?
• If you were to write your own Obituary, what would you write about yourself?
• What do you fear most?
• What are your major strengths? Major flaws?
• What do you wish you were good at?
• If you could do one thing (without hindrance- i.e. money, location, etc.) and know it would be successful, what would it be?
• What 3 (or 1 major) childhood events helped shape the person you are today?
• What are some annoying habits you have?
  
• What are your pet peeves - annoying habits of others?
• What secret in your life do you have that you hope is never revealed? (be honest - you could instill this fear in your lead character)
• What is your philosophy of life?

Answering these questions should open up a door into your soul. You can use your answers to drive your story, a character's passion or for counter arguments. Writing about things you know and/or are passionate about is a good way to develop solid material.

Question and Answer- Exercise 2

1. What is it about the lead character that captures you?
2. What is the lead trying to get or get away from?
3. Did the story kick into "high gear"?
4. What was the main opposition to the Lead's objective?
5. How did the ending make you feel? Did it work?
   

The Bell Jar

1. The lead character: Ester Greenwood- tortured, depressed, intelligent, naive.
2. Esther’s Goal: to be a writer/get a job in publishing after she returns from her internship
3. The story picks up when she starts to realize things as not what they seems: Buddy is a fake, Doreen is just a slut, the writing class she wanted to take has already passed for the summer and the Doctor doesn’t want to help her he just wants to use her as a guinea pig. All these blows to the character’s ego cause her to become depressed and eventually suicidal.
4. Ester’s opposition actually causes her to spiral down into a deep depression and she looses sight of her goal – ultimately resulting in her demise/admittance into the insane asylum after her attempted suicide..
5. The end works because after you experience all the depression and negativity that Ester faces it turns out there is a light at the tunnel… and even though she is not fully recovered you, the reader, are satisfied that she will live and flourish another day.

Exercise 3

Write a quick plot for your current idea.

My Lead is a ___________.
Their Objective is to ___________.
They are confronted by ___________ and this opposes them because __________.
The ending will be a knockout when _____________.


It is that simple! After filling out the blanks, you have the skeleton for your novel. The rest of the details will be fleshed out as you explore these goals.


* Exercise material from "Writing Great Fiction: plot & structure"
by: James Scott Bell

Exercise 2

Take some of your favorite novels off the shelf (or from your mind) and analyze them using the lock system.

LOCK System recap:
L: is for Lead (character) --> Have a compelling lead character that creates interest in the reader.
O: is for Objective --> What does the character want or desire and/or what threat occurs that makes the story interesting. (If the lead doesn't get what they want or get away from the threat, it should make their life different). Objective should be CRUCIAL.
C: is for Confrontation -->Opposition from other characters and outside forces brings the story to life.
K: is for Knockout --> Readers want to see a knockout ending; not a draw. Take the Lead through the journey toward their objective, then send the opposition to the mat. This could also be reversed, where the opposition wins. The range of ending options are endless.

So, examine your favorite novel(s) and use these questions below to see how the author sets up their plot.

• What is it about the lead character that captures you?
• What is the lead trying to get or get away from?
• Did the story kick into "high gear"?
• What was the main opposition to the Lead's objective?
• How did the ending make you feel? Did it work?

* Exercise material from "Writing Great Fiction: plot & structure"
by: James Scott Bell

Exercise 1

“When readers read my novels, I want them to feel ___________ at the end. That’s because to me, novels __________.”


“When readers read my novels, I want them to feel different/impacted (however large or small) at the end. That’s because to me, novels are a way to escape the presence of everyday life and/or the voice in my head.”

I want readers to feel like they have been invited to explore the psyche of another person, someone who they may or may not identify with, but somehow feel differently after having read about the feelings and the situations of the main character. Perhaps the novel may even affect the way they look at life. Every novel I have read has given me insight into a new world set with experiences- being joys or tragedies- that I might never have experienced on my own.

To me novels are supposed to educate you in some way either to teach you something about life, people or purely entertain you with ideas you have not experienced or thought of before on your own. A novel might teach you what it is like to live in Hawaii, explain why lovers do the things they do for love, or perhaps what it might feel like to be plagued with a tough decision or a debilitating phobia. In short, I want the reader to feel intrigued about something they may or may not have felt before- seeing events through a different pair of eyes because different experiences are what make up knowledge.



* Exercise material from "Writing Great Fiction: plot & structure"
by: James Scott Bell

This one's for you kid...

The past several weeks have been a real eye opener for me. There are many things I hide inside and save for only me. One thing is the way I feel about you. You inspire me daily. Although I am whole, I am also made up of many parts: part daughter, part sister, part wife, part friend and part soul mate. When I think of the phrase soul mate I think of someone who completes a part of you, for which if you did not have, your soul would be part missing. Some people look at lovers as their soul mates (and I do to some extent) but to me I am lucky to have a few dear people I would call soul mates... people who without having I would feel partly empty inside.

You are one of those pieces. I met you on a sunny day in the summer of '92. I remember it pretty clearly, as clear as my memory can be at least. The details are a bit fuzzy but the feelings are clear. I was enamored by you, not in the romantic sense but in the fascinated and curious kind of way. You were (and still are) unlike anyone I have ever met. And yet even though you were so different you felt alike to me some how. I felt oddly comfortable around you, comfortable enough to play a silly joke and scare the crap out of you even though we did not know each other very well. I imagine in some similar way you felt the same honesty and familiarity as me because you laughed- your effortless and contagious laugh- and agreed to accompany me to pick out my new bicycle. From there our friendship has spanned almost two decades and weathered many storms. I have always felt you have given me honesty, support and love and hope you feel the same from me. Because of this trifecta and the growth in myself, over the years, I know I can accomplish anything I put my mind to.

As I said earlier, the last few weeks -hell the last few years, have been a real eye opener for me and because of this I have solidified my desire to contribute more in my life on a different level. I have pledged to myself that I am and always will be a writer. I would like to share parts of this journey with you. I ask nothing more of you than to be what you always have been - a killer support system- as I kick dreams into high gear. I am envious of your ability to share your thoughts freely, without fear of being judged, on your blogg. Because of this I have decided to follow in your courageous footsteps by starting my own platform for submission. I am starting this blogg to ease the fear of sending my writing out into the universe. Baby steps, I know, but it’s the only way I could do it. I would like to share my writings with you by way of this blogg and of coarse feedback is welcomed but not expected.

Thank you for doing as you always have - being a good listener.
Love you lots (in case you didn't realize it from this entry)!

Sincerely yours,
Jille Bean ~writer